


Hotcakes

by Lexiee



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, Identity Reveal, M/M, One Night Stands, Out of Character, PWP without Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8619853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexiee/pseuds/Lexiee
Summary: "Just to make sure, by saying the word videogames, do you actually mean videogames or is that a code name for hot gay sex?"
    <#teamhotgaysex>[That's really not how hashtags work]   Wade's one night stand turns out to be something more - a lot more. He gets an almost blowjob out of it, right before getting his gun out, but--
  Just read the story, would you?





	

**Author's Note:**

> SO, if this fic seems familiar to you, it's because it has been uploaded once before, but I took it off due to some really offensive comments.  
> I mean, if you didn't like it, which is fine, more than fine, super fine, could you just let me know without making me want to crawl into a hole and never write again? 
> 
> I tried re-writing it, but I realised I like this story the way it is, and I honestly hope some of you will too.

He couldn't believe how his luck turned out just right tonight. This guy was gorgeous. Not just gorgeous-gorgeous, but more like a HOT DAMN, shoot me in the head, is this guy for real or are we hallucinating again?-type, with a toned out body, and a boyish face--

[There's also a chance that he isn't all that legal yet]

"That's okay" said Wade in a wrecked voice and apparently Mr. Hotcakes took it as an invitation-- ohmygod that mouth sure as hell was talented...

<of course it's okay - he can call us Daddy if that's what he wants>  
[Ok, wow, we should seriously call the cops on ourselves]  
<or a priest, 'cause we're about to sin so hard, baby~>  
"Damn right, we are" murmured Wade against the boy's lips, and holy shit, he still hasn't made a run for the door, even though Wade had his tongue in his mouth.  
[You've got yourself a keeper, man!]  
<yeah, how much do you think is to keep him forever?>

Wade tried to answer, but only moans made it out of his throat as Peter shrunk to his knees and started pulling Wade's trousers down.  
"You wanna suck on this lollipop, baby? 'Cause I'm not sure it will all fit into your pretty mouth." said Wade teasingly, and the voices collectively cheered for Hotcakes to try it anyway - and he did indeed, but not before throwing the cheekiest grin in his direction.

<omg, we're definitely keeping him for like fucking forever>  
[We might need to sell our apartment and a few organs we don't need so we can afford him.]  
<fuck 'em & kidnap 'em, whatcha say, baby?!>  
[Can you think of anything that would backfire? You know, boom boom in our face?]  
<nope>  
[Thought so]  
<LET'S DO THIS!!>

"Stop thinking in capitals, asshat" Wade growled, because fuck it, Hotcakes was obviously into crazy and Wade was indeed crazy a bit--

<yeah, HI!>  
[A bit? A BIT???]

Peter pulled away with a filthy sound, his lips wet from a mixture of his own saliva and Wade's precum and SHIT, Wade was dying to taste it, so he did just that, and he wanted to stay right there all night, kissing this pretty boy--

<shut up and suck his dick already!>

Maybe they needed a bit more extra time for everything.

"So, listen, um... How much extra would you charge for staying the night?"  
"What?"  
"Come on, baby, don't make me say it! Now, have you got a price list on you or something?"

[Don't fuck this up for me, Wade!]  
<for you? you uneven dick!! Wade, boss, you're cool as a cucumber, just carry on>

"Are you paying all your one night stands?" Hotcakes asked with a confused look on his face.  
"Only if they are with hookers" Wade shrugged.  
"Excuse me?" demanded Hotcakes hotly <haha, get it? it's funny. but also, you know, maybe he prefers the term love worker. did you know the Germans call them social workers?>  
[You do realise not everything is true what you read on the internet, right?]

"Just because you're a prostitute--  
"What? No, Wade, no, it's not what--  
"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?" shouted Wade and got his gun out faster than the boy could blink. "Y'know, you're actually the hottest Hotcake they sent after me so far but I really didn't know cock sucking was in the curriculum. Guess I was wrong, sweetcheeks. Now tell me, where do you want it? In your mouth? Now that would be appropriate, wouldn't it? A bullet to blow your brains, not quite the way you blew me, but close enough, I'll take it..."

<we should still fuck him, just sayin'>  
[He's wrong, we really shouldn't, but we could, and knowing ourselves, we probably would]

"No, listen to me..." Hotcakes started and he actually didn't look all that scared and that was wrong, he was supposed to be scared, he was supposed to be fucking terrified--

Only he wasn't and somehow that was enough for Wade for wanting to hear him out.

"Tell me. How do you know my name?" he asked, sounding a lot calmer than he felt.  
"I know you. I'm Peter Parker"  
"Wait, you're Spidey's photographer? He told you about me? He TALKS about me? Now that's information we could use..."

<oooh, forget this baby, let's get some of that goddess booty instead>

"Not quite." Hotc-- Peter said and within a moment, he turned them around, then climbed the wall all the way up to the ceiling. "I'm Peter Parker. Student, part-time photographer, intern at Stark Industries, and Spider Man at night. I would say it was a pleasure but you kinda cut me off."

<REBOOTING>  
[HOLY SHIT!]

"What?"  
<what?>  
[What?]

"I told you I was going to be here. Yesterday, remember?" Ooooh. He did remember something but as soon as he saw Hotcakes--

[Peter, his name is Peter]

\--he kinda had a mindblank and forgotten about everything else.  
"I've tried to shoot you" he mumbled and looked at Peter who has already climbed off from the ceiling.  
"Not the first time" grinned Peter while walking closer to Wade. "So, what do you say, we go grab some tacos and then we play some videogames?"  
"Just to make sure, by saying the word videogames, do you actually mean videogames or is that a code name for hot gay sex?"

<#teamhotgaysex>  
[That's really not how hashtags work]

"I was thinking Mario Kart. If you can beat me, you can fuck me on the sofa."  
"And if I lose?"  
"Then on the bed."  
"Deal."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, guys. ❤️ Find me on my tumblr: sheflieswithherowndamnwings


End file.
